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Licensed Animals My dog’s on lithium, Milkbone lithium ‘cause the capsules just aren’t workin’. 7 milligrams, he’s not responding and the side effects are tremendous. He’s already ballooned up to 300 lbs. Far too heavy for the skateboard I bought him. Some days when he swings real low, he’ll stare from the canal bridge we cross during our walks, and stare at his reflection in the water below - stone still. Then he’ll pass out and not stir for the next 72 hours. When he gets better, he rebounds just a tad bit too far. And turns into turbo humper - with a sex drive that exceeds his canine peers by twelve orders of magnitude. Trouble is, with a 300 pound horny dog, nothing’s safe; my best friend had to have his leg amputated above the knee. I just don’t know what I should do. I could always switch his medication I mean - only if he isn’t the perfect candidate for lyposuction. John Ejaife II This poem is appearing in the Book Spinning About Three Axes |
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